polls closed late last night in this hotly contested race for the fattest wallace offspring -- a race marred by negative campaigning, election fraud and ballot irregularities. chocolate baby took an early lead until a wellspring of beefy voters, including unregistered international voters from brazil -- GARY -- put their ginormous candidate in the jumbo-sized spotlight big enough to accommodate his large hindquarters and thighs. candidates traded soft dimple-fisted jabs. chocolate baby thundered that beefy's jaba the hut-like tongue was winning intimidation votes, beefy's camp countered with a comparison of chocolate baby's cake-soaked pony tails to devil's horns while reminding voters that his fluffiness was accumulated in just 3 short months of life on breast milk while it took chocolate baby a full year AND solid foods to gain those jowls. when chads were found both in the fleshy folds of will's floatation-device arms and partially digested in eliza's chocolatey diaper, election officials demanded a recount... that just made the results more confusing. follow this math: 68 votes, 36 per candidate, giving both candidates 52 percent of the vote. that's right. both fatties have more than half of the popular vote. in a race that flies in the face of simple math, the people have spoken: both babies are the winner.
3 comments:
I still think that you were able to control the votes!
if i could control the votes, i would've controlled the math a little better... and maybe had the totals add up to 100 percent or something. and plus there would've been like 1 million votes. trust, ellen. it's what families are built of.
As if the pictures weren't funny enough... your commentary left me rolling. Thanks for the laugh! I read it to Chris and his only comment (he was trying to sleep) was: I just hope those kids grow out of it. =D
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